In our times, we called them 'Bujees', short for Buddhi Jeevees, or an intellectual person. This word is always used in a tone of respect, envy and quite a lot of sarcasm. A more apt translation would be 'Intellectual Asshole' (IA).
Let us stick to the term IA. Now, what are the traits of a IA. Well, he (don't know why, this is always a 'He' and not a 'She'. I am not implying for a moment that there are none in the fairer sex, it is just that I have not come across many) will have to be a dreamer, reader, thinker, opinionated, well educated, sporting a beard (beard and intelligence are somehow associated) that he stokes regularly while thinking, generally reticent as the IA is not supposed to speak much, will have a serious disposition to life (meaning he won't joke or be frivolous) , a rebel by nature and as such a misfit and generally to make a long story short, a pain in the ass. Quite a few of them will be smokers, drinkers and drug addicted though there are exceptions. The IA should never give a straight answer and have to use as much complex words which no one understands as possible.
Now, how do one attain the IA status? Well, I can say that you don't get it that easily. You really have to work for it diligently. Years of reading, forming opinions, opposing others viewpoint, thinking out of the box (whether the solutions are practical or not) and regular practice will make you eligible for this title. You should also express your opinion on every topic under the sun, whether you know or not, at every single given opportunity. It helps if you really have a core competency in one area, but definitely you should have more than passable knowledge on other areas.
Once you are an Acknowledged IA, life changes dramatically. Every one (poor ordinary folks, friends and foe alike) turns to you for opinion on divergent issues. Some examples of the questions are given below with the IA's probable responses,
"I am married for the last 4 years, but have no children. What should I do?" - and this to a IA who is a bachelor!!!.
The IA stokes his beard, goes in deep thought and when the other guy is bored to death says slowly, "Well, there are many solutions. You can go for Artificial insemination, adopt a child, rent a womb if your wife has a problem that prevents her from conceiving or introduce a neighbour to your wife if the problem is with you. By the way, when was the last time both of you had a check up with the doctor together?"
"How can we? I am in Kuwait and she is in India, and I have not visited her for 4 years"
IA is deeper in thought now, "Umm ........... that could be a real problem. Now let me see what I can do about it. I am travelling next month .........................."
Another case,
IA gets a call " Can you give me the reference book for Consumer Behaviour?"
IA doesn't have a clue. But with Google, he has is more effective. He goes to Amazon.com and types CB in the search column and gets a list of books. Now he is ready,
"I would recommend you to read Schiffman. It is a good book were the concepts are juxtaposed in a logical manner to enable comprehensive transfer of thoughts and ideas about the behavioural aspects of consumers with respect to their predispositions towards products and services. It is especially noteworthy for.................................................................... "
Here is another one,
"What do you think will be the reason for monsoon failure and its impact on Indian Economy?"
"The vagaries of monsoon has always been a source of mystery to the mankind. Scientists have been working on a reasonably acceptable model for predicting the monsoon with an acceptable confidence level. The reason monsoon failed could be just that the El nino factor in the south pacific ( remember he doesnt have the faintest of idea what this is) did not form as it should be. It is also possible that there just were not enough rain clouds over India. And it could also be due to Congress returning to power and the Gods wanted to punish the Indians for re-electing Manmohan Singh. Now the impact could be the GDP not growing at the anticipated rate of 6%. We may end up a growth of 4.873467890213%. Since the global economy is in recession, we may find it difficult to import food and as such may have to pay higher prices leading to a cut in the defence outlay that can adversely affect our level of preparedness to counter any cross border adventure by our arch rivals Pakistan who is internally disintegrating due to the US drone attack on the NW frontier that has caused considerable resentment in Pakistan which worries the Obama Administration who might attack Nicaragua to divert the attention of the American population from their military failures in Afghanistan, where Karzai might win a rigged election which has long term geo political implications for the region................................................. "
Let me take a break from my writing my autobiography :)
