Interesting Characters I met in my life -2

There are characters and then there are characters!

Life would be very dull without at least one quirky character.

We were only 11 during our Professional Course. 10 boys and 1 girl. Our age ranged from 29 to 20, me being one of the two youngest. As such homogeneity was lacking.

Each one of us had strange traits but this guy took the cake. But he made our 2 1/2 years of life quite colorful.

He had completed his PG. His father, a Businessman was street smart but lacked education, which made him determined to ensure his children got all the education they needed, and was willing to spend any amount of money for their studies. The catch was there. He was willing to invest only in education, but rarely gave them money for their other expenses, including clothes. And as long as his son was staying with him, he ruled with an iron hand.

When my classmate joined us, it was the first time he was staying away from his house, as we were all in the hostel. It was like letting a bird free after being caged for years. The guy just freaked out.

His father would give him any amount of money for buying books. Since his father was not aware how many books were required for the program, my classmate used to run rings around him. He would send request for Rs 1,000 every month to his father for buying books (Rs 1,000 was a lot of money in mid 1980's). His father would promptly send him the money. Son would hardly spend anything on books, and the whole amount went to movies, dresses, cabaret shows, liquor and good food.

Father would come once in a while for an audit, for he never fully trusted his son. The son had an arrangement with his mother, who would intimate him in advance of the fathers visits.

The lethargic son would kick into action. Our university hostel had students pursuing PG courses from Psychology to Physics to MBA to Journalism to English. And all the students were Rank Holders in their UG and very studious. We all bought books, or loaned books from the University/Department  Libraries. My classmate would raid all our rooms, collect at least 8-10 books from each room (never mind the books had nothing to do with our MBA Program) and stack them in his room. When the hardly literate father arrived, he would see a few mountains of books in his sons room, and his son sitting amidst, which would please him no end.

As I said, Father was a street smart businessman. He would insist on bills for the money spent on books. Son, who never bought a book, found a way around this too. He had an agreement with all of us to hand him over the bills whenever we purchased a book. In addition, he struck a deal with the Cashier at Pai &Co, the leading bookshop in the City, to give him the bills of books purchased by the customers, most of whom never bothered to insist on them.

Come exam time, he would be running around for books to study, for he had none. We had a studious classmate, with hardly any social skills, who hated sharing his books. One weekend, he was accosted in his room by this Character, and asked whether he could borrow his Marketing Research book. Not wanting to lend his book, the studious guy told him that he was planning to study Marketing Research the whole day and some. "Anyway, what I wanted was the Sales Management Book. I knew if I asked that, you would say you were planning to study that. Since your focus is on MR for the next day, I am taking your Sales Management Book", said our Character, and coolly walked away with the Sales Management Book.

He was fond of good food. Often one can see him in an expensive restaurant. Once me and another classmate were walking in front of one of the restaurant, when he hailed us from inside. "Come, Come. Join me for food". We happily accepted the invitation, went in and ordered along with him. We were waiting for the food to be supplied, when I had a nagging doubt. I asked " I hope you have the money to pay the bill". The guy without blinking his eye told "Yes, I have money to pay what I ORDERED, but you have to fend for yourself". We were stunned as we didn't have sufficient cash and had gone in believing he was footing the bill. Cursing him we ran to the supplier, explained our predicament, cancelled the order and left embarrassed.

Being University Campus, we had excellent sports facilities, including two tennis courts, which we used extensively. My classmate decided he wanted to play tennis too, mainly because there was a Russian Lady who was playing, and he wanted to get close to her. He bought a state of the art Racquet and the proper attire. The only hitch was that he just couldn't play. His legs and arms would go to different directions when he swung, and the ball would fly all over the place. It was embarrassing to watch for anyone, but he could care less. He persevered for 2 years without making an inch of progress and his style of play (if one could call that) was a standing joke.

Towards our 4th semester he vanished for 3 days. When he returned we asked him where the hell he was. He had apparently gone as Assistant Coach to the Calicut University Women's Tennis Team, as the regular Assistant Coach could not make it due to some personal emergency. He got a certificate for that!!!! Irony died a thousand death and we were speechless.

We had a young lady lecturer for Personnel Management. She was not quite liked by anyone, as her competency was in question, but we had to endure her horrendous lectures. A heavyset dark woman who word different sarees, she was quite vain. One day my classmate came late to the class, got in, loosened his shirt collar for it was hot, and looked around with a contented look. The lecturer restarted the class after his messy interruption. Suddenly my friend looked at her with mouth agape,

"Teachere" (teacher!)
"Entha" (what)
"Nalla Saree" (Nice Saree)
Lecturer was pleased but embarrassed, "Please......"
"Alla teachare, nalla saree" ( No teacher, saree is nice )
Lecturer murmured a thanks and continued her lecture. After a minute, the guy got out of his reverie.
"Nalla colour" (Nice Colour)
"Thanks"
After a while
"Nalla selundu kanan" (It looks nice on you)
Lecturer started warming up to the compliments but carried on teaching gamely, but losing control of the class, who were smiling broadly.
"Evidunna vangiyathu" (where did you buy from?)
"Trichur, but keep quiet now"
Still after a while,
"Ethraya koduthathu" (How much did you pay?)
" Rs 600"
"Nalla labham, Nalla labham" ( Good bargain/profit)
"Oh, thank you".  Lecturer was feeling real good now.
After 30 seconds when she had savoured the moment, came the bombshell
"Vitta aalku, vitta aalku" ( for the seller, for seller) meaning the Seller made a good profit.
The Lecturer who was floating in the world of compliments, suddenly came crashing down, and we all roared with laughter.

There are numerous such incidents one can recall. But they can be expressed properly only in the local language, and not in English.