Well, the scene goes something like this.
The proud parents welcome you to the hospital ward. You walk in with a gift for the baby, which that baby is not in a frame of mind to appreciate (Always buy a gift for the older child, if they have one. A gift for the mother is also quite thoughtful).
The beaming parents insist that they place the delicate, happily sleeping bundle on your lap. Suddenly all the stories of Six Sigma ratings and how 6 defects in a million transactions comes to mind (I mean, even if we are at Six Sigma level, we are allowed to drop the baby 6 times in one million visits. This particular visit could be one of those. I shudder at what would happen then)
And the parents (well grandparents) expect you to take a bit of sugar in your dirty fingers and thrust it in the mouth of the child saying 'umm. pretty one..........here is some sweet for you', giving along with it all the known infection in the world (I would personally like to shoot every single person who gives sugar to a new born).
Now that you are out of the tough part (Well almost. With people using Diapers these days, one can be safe of not being showered with Morarji Desai's favourite drink and then the bally parents will say "Oh! He/She likes you so much. It is why he/she squirted a bucketfull of piss on you". Imagine as adults if we piss on people and say that we did it because we liked them so much)
Then the final ritual. The most dreaded question.
"Come on tell me. Does he/she look like her father or her mother?"
As I said, all newborns look alike. And one can hardly do a PhD on resemblences at this stage.
I keep a deadpan face and reply,
"Won't look nice if he/she looks like the neighbour. Will it?"
A frosty silence. Sullen looks. And Rajan is personna non grata in one more house.
The price one has to pay for being honest! Sigh................................
