Headlines as per a prominent newspaper

• Pak Government tables bill to curb Zardari's powers - Better to table a bill to curb his percentage (remember his nickname 10% Zardari for taking a 10% cut in all projects during Benazir's tenure as PM?)
• India committed to N-liability law, says US - Fine. As long as the N-liability doesn't stand for National Liability
• Congress MLA's demand luxury flats in Commonwealth Games Village - Err..... how about arranging a 'local family' too to them in addition to the Flat, all at State's cost?
• Sania Mirza will continue to play for India, says AILTA - AILTA really has a death wish. Or else who wants a player who has not won a set in WTA during the past couple of years to represent your country? Let her play for Pakistan for all we care. Who wants a loser?
• Couples who do more cleaning will have more sex - I can hear chairs being pushed back in a hurry as my readers scramble for the mop.
• Smoking makes a person dumb - Wrong! How can you make a dumb, a dumb. Any one who smokes is dumb in the first place.
• Sports and liquor dont go together, says M S Gill - Unless it is Vijay Mallya and IPL/F1