My grandparents house was in an 'Agraharam' in Kollengode in Palakkad. Houses in a row on both sides of a private road with common walls and a temple at one end. A total of 64 families lived in the agraharam. One thing that struck me was the huge centre hall in the house with the roof open in one corner allowing rain water and sun to come in unhindered. The rain water was stored in a tank in the front hall. Another thing of note was that the front door was never locked. People can walk in at random and they in fact do. Also there was a small varandah outside the house made of bricks where anyone can sit or even sleep in the night. This is where as a child, I met and talked to lot of interesting characters. The fortune teller with a parrot, the wise old brahmin who used to regale me with stories, a middle aged eccentric man who talked fluently about philosophy, the gypsies who travelled extensively selling bangles and so on. No one was turned away and a cup of buttermilk or water or coffee or lunch was always made available to the guests. The only thing that irked me was that my Grandparents being traditional, would not allow non brahmins inside the house.
Years rolled by. My parents set up their own nucleus family. The house was stand alone with a separate courtyard. There was a huge front gate and a large front door. It was as if making a statement that we want to be away from the society. In fact the society had by then become much more unsafe. There was a need for the house to be secure. Still, the doors were open throughout the day till 10 pm in the night. People were still welcome irrespective of the time of the day. My mother being a superb cook, always had something special for any guest. I could safely take couple of my friends home for lunch without prior notice knowing fully well that food for at least 2 extra people will always be available. But the open verandah which allowed total strangers to rest became a thing of the past much to my regret. But on one front we had made considerable progress. My father was liberal in thinking. So off went the culture of non brahmins not entering the house. All were welcome.
Today people live behind closed doors. They look through the peep hole to first check who has come and then cautiously open the door on a chain and do not even come out. The welcome with open arms has become a thing of the past. One can detect the displeasure on the hosts face if one goes unannounced. When even friends are not welcome can you imagine what is the status of strangers. Today young kids are told to be beware of the strangers and not to talk to them. The learning and the pearls of wisdom that the kids get from interacting with people of different nature is absent. So much the pity. Are we all living on gilded cages?
As the great malayalam poet Vallathol said,
"Bandhoora Kanchana Kootilanengilum
Bandhanam Bandhanam thanne paaril"
Loosely translated it means, though we might be in a golden cage, it is still a case of being confined with no freedom.
If this is progress, I would love to remain without it.
