The s**t that goes as news these days

The s**t that are considered newsworthy by newspapers these days,

"An Indian doctor has sworn a legal undertaking (sic) that she will improve her handwriting after judges complained that they could not read her spidery scrawl" - (umm.......... if this judgement were to be extended to ALL the DOCTORS in India, then there is a tremendous market potential for Pencils and Two line/Four line note books. Imagine our esteemed Judges peering over moon glasses with a cane in the hand and watching the doctors practice their handwriting. And pray what is this lady doctor supposed to do. Write "I shall improve my handwriting 1ooo times and go to the courtroom next day to show the worthy judge her homework?. Give me a break.There are millions of important cases on which judgements have not been passed pending for decades and our courts find time to pass such frivolous judgements)

"Indian man killed for urinating against a wall" - ( No.I am not conning you. This happened a couple of days back in India. The poor guy had one too many and took a leak, whack! and next thing he knows, he is in the gates to the pearly heaven. Now, now what will he be saying up there "Let those who dont urinate against a wall, smash my skull", and he will not find a single man in India, high or low. Anyway what is a wall for, if you cant piss against it?)

"A woman died on the way to a cemetery when a traffic accident hurled her husband’s coffin against the back of her neck" - (The husband must be humming,"Ta ra Ta ra, what I couldn't do alive(or didnt have the guts to), I achieved when dead". May his soul Rest In Peace)

"Monkeys ransack police officer's office in Agra" - ( The reporter surely got his lines mixed up. It HAS TO be 'Police officers ransacked Monkey's office'. Anyway, I was wondering what the monkeys would have obtained from ransacking the office! Couple of bottles of run, beedi bits?)

"First portable toilet for Everest" - (Now, now. Why do Everest want a toilet? Does Everest shit?)

These are the kinds of things our newspapers are made of. All the above appeared on a single day. No wonder newspapers are lamenting fall in readership. Who wants to read the above 's**t'?