Ring.........Ring..........Ring....................
"Hello............................."
"Mr. President. This is the Head of the Jury for the Nobel Farce........oops sorry........Peace Prize"
"Who or What is Nobel Farce, Fart or Peace Prize?"
"Sir, this is the Annual award given to the person who has contributed maximum to World Peace"
"What is 'Peace' ?"
"Err...........we are not sure ourselves but we understand that it denotes a condition where hostility is absent"
"Hostility! Ya, now you are talking my language. It is what we, as a nation, are good at. We have been at it for ages. And who is Nobel?"
"Sir, Nobel was the physicist who invented Dynamite................................."
"Dynamite!!!!!!!!! Can you give me his cell number? I need him to immediately supply Pentagon a million tonne of bunker buster, cave buster, ass buster dynamites in Afghanistan and Iraz and half a dozen other places in the world. I need to send it along with my additional troops of 20000 who are on their way right now to Afghanistan. Will give the buggers a shot in the arm and will help them to kick some ass out there"
"Sir, let me ....................................................."
"While we are at it, could you identify some arms suppliers who shall supply unmanned drones, which we need in droves, Long Range ICBMs that will help us to take a pot shot at that guy Osama in Pakistan while sitting in White House whenever we are bored, and a guided laser bomb that shall target Iran's toy bomb factory...............dangerous guys all you know. And dont worry about collateral damage of lives, for I shall ensure that UN Security council tows my line, like they did in Iraq.............."
"But Sir..................................................................."
"I have a dream. A dream where only US of Assholes shoots, bombs and kills people. After a decade of this, we wont have anyone to shoot at. Thus the hostility shall come to an end."
"Sir, that is one of the reasons why we are giving you the award. We are proud to intimate you that you have been chosen as the Nobel Peace Prize winner of 2009 "
"Oh yeah! I have seen that guy, Sean Connory, as James Bond 007, Licensed to kill. I presume 009 indicates license to Bomb"
"Well, Mr. President...........not exactly............"
"Let us cut the crap. Tell me what do I have to do after accepting the award?"
"Nothing much Mr.President. You can continue doing the excellent work you are doing now........"
"Whew.......that is a big relief. So you mean to say I can keep on bull shitting about global peace, disarmament, CTBT (whatever the heck all those are) without doing anything"
"Yes, Mr.President. Also, the Award comes with a Medal , Citation............................"
"Shit. Who wants those"
".............and a sum equal to One Million US Dollars................"
"Now, you are talking my language. One Million US Dollars. Whew...........hang on...............( could be overheard telling his wife "Michelle, some guy is offering me One Million US $, we shall be able to buy those undergarments you so much wanted for Christmas ).............oh Hello buddy, thanks, One Million US Dollars............. what a relief..........with these Global recession, I havent been paid since I took over. This shall help me pay my kids school fee and buy some Christmas Gifts. Times are tough, you know"
"Err! Sir, we knew about that when your White House cronies begged us to give you the Award and asked us to bail you out financially. So we take it that you are accepting..................."
"I am on my way...............................................Air Force 1. File a Flight Plan to Sweden, wherever the heck that is"
