I asked my friend Budhirakshasan who he considers is the best dietician cum physical fitness Doctor in India, as I wanted to improve my fitness levels and reduce my weight
Bang came the answer - Dr.Manmohan Singh.
When I looked askance,he quickly changed the channels of his TV to Health (or is it Help? I dont remember clearly) India TV. It was showing the rerun of an interview given by our Health (oops! Prime) Minister. The video footage showed the smiling Doctor coming out of a Cabinet meeting that raised the price of petroleum products across the product lines on Friday, 25th June 2010. He was accosted by a shrieking young lady interviewer of 20 plus,
"Well. We dont believe in words. This UPA government under the guidance of Soniaji believes in action. We have already taken a cabinet decision for the Welfare of the Aam Aadmi.
"The aam aadmi today onwards has to walk to work than travel by bus, car or motorcycle for we have increased the Petrol Prices by Rs 3.73 and Diesel by Rs 2 with immediate effect. Walking is very good for health. If we make it prohibitively expensive for them to drive a car or scooter, they wont use it."
"Our UPA Government believes in empowering women, especially housewives. Hence we have decided to increase the LPG prices by Rs 35. From now on, Housewives will have less work to do for they wont have to cook and as everyone knows raw vegetables and fruits are better than cooked ones, which will make the whole family healthier. And anyway there is hardly anything in the kitchens these days as everything from rice to salt, milk to fish, vegetable to fruits is beyond the purse of the the people"
"The aam aadmi who are below the poverty line..............................."
"Do you think we will forget the BPL aam aadmi? They have the first right of my government's 'brilliant ideas', err...... resources. The best way to improve one's health is to have a good 9 hours sleep per day. By increasing the Kerosene prices by Rs 3, we have ensured that the BPL aam aadmi wont have enough money to light up their houses, and having no other option will go to bed early. Err.........there will be a minor side effect of increase in population if people go to bed early, but even there I look at the positive side of the issue - more population means there will be more people to share the same food,as my Agriculture minister dont or wont increase food production, less food will be available per head, leading to lesser calorie intake. Again, less obesity"
"But sir.............................."
Also remember that we have ensured the food prices are very high with the food inflation at 16.4% and this is at the wholesale level!!! At retail level the inflation must be 25-30%. This is good for health of the aam aadmi as he cannot afford to buy Rice, Wheat, Pulses, Dhal, Vegetables, Milk, Fruits, or for that matter even Dhal. High prices means less consumption (I should know, for everyone says I am an economist, though I am not sure whether I am a Doctor of Economics or Doctor of Diet and Fitness), less calories taken, meaning leaner, meaner and fitter population. So on the one hand we reduce the population's calorie intake, and on the other hand we make them walk/run more. Also, they sweat more hearing the prices, which opens up the pores of the skin and makes it glow"
"Sir.................................................................."
"Sir.................................................................."
"Sshhhhhh. This is the world cup time. What if we didnt qualify. While our friends in the Brazil team are right now kicking a Jabulani ball in South Africa, our Government is busy kicking millions of A**es of fellow Indians"
At this point Budhirakshasan dipped inside his pocket and whipped up a RED CARD
